


Magnus has a What?

by TWyatt66



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Confused Alec Lightwood, Little Sisters are evil, Magnus Bane is such a dad, No Beta, Older Brother Raphael, Overprotective Raphael, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27328225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWyatt66/pseuds/TWyatt66
Summary: Unbeknownst to Alec and co, Magnus has a daughter he adopted years ago. Who happens to be a little shit like her father and tends to drive her older brother crazy. This is how they meet.No set time for this and I'm ignoring all the bad stuff.(Hope I can get the characters right, sorry if they seem out of character)Constructive criticism is welcome, hate will be used as fuel for making smores.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago
Comments: 11
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

"Alexander, darling, there you are!"

Looking up from the screen, Alec watched as his boyfriend and mother made their way onto the platform, arm in arm. 'Oh god, not again.' Was the fleeting, panicked thought flashing through his mind. He bent down to accept the peck on the cheek from his mother and returned the quick kiss from Magnus. "Is there something you need?" Their matching grins sent a jolt of fear through his body. "Magnus and I were just talking about how long since we've had a family dinner." Maryse answered. "Oh yes, we agreed it would be marvelous to have one tomorrow night. I could get some food from this little restaurant in Italy that has the best pasta. It's to die for, dear." Magnus leaned against the taller man, holding his hand and giving him a look that he knew Alec couldn't refuse. Against his better judgement, Alec agreed, "Well, if everyone else is up for it", all while giving his boyfriend a look, screaming revenge.

Maryse looked over to the side, where Clary and Jace were watching, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, uh, yea, we'll be there." Jace hurried to reassure, ignoring the redhead snickering by his side. "Grand! I'll call Isabelle later and confirm with her. Oh, Magnus, we should have some you cocktails. They always make things more fun." Before anyone could reply, a portal opened not to far from them. The shadowhunters reached for their weapons while Magnus stood on guard. They watched and waited, wondering who or what was going to come through, as a portal opening unexpectedly was usually not a good sign. 

Voices could be heard, a female and a male, apparently arguing. Magnus relaxed as first a woman and then a man came storming out of the portal. The hunters all recognized Raphael Santiago, but not the woman. She had long red hair, streaked through with blue and purple, light blue eyes covered in blue eye shadow and glitter, wearing a low-cut, tight shirt, a pair of ripped skinny jeans, and six-inch heeled boots with laces going up the sides. She turned and glared at the vampire, snapping a pair of fangs at him, snarling, "Stop messing with my dates!" 

"Maybe if you would pick better people, I wouldn't have to!"

"It's none of your business who I see!"

"Like hell it isn't!"

"I'm not a child anymore Raphael! I'm 67 years old damnit!"

"And I'm still you older brother!"

She gave a muffled scream before turning towards the group and zeroed in on Magnus. "Dad! Tell Raphael to stop interfering with my dates!" A pin drop would have been heard in the short silence that followed. Alec was stunned speechless and could do nothing but stare from Magnus to the woman and back again. No one else dared to utter a word.

"Oh, real mature! Really showing your age and how grown up you are!"

"Oh screw you Raffy! At least I'm not afraid to go after the one I want!"

"No clue what you're talking about. And stop calling me that!"

"Oh yea, what about that fledgling? Sheldon or whatever?"

"His name is Simon and I don't want him!"

"Oh, is that why I've had to deal with countless messages about his eyes or his fangs or his hair?"

"CHILDREN!"

Both of them snapped to attention and turned towards Magnus, who had his hands on his hip and staring them both down. "Now that I have you attention, mind explaining what's this about?" The woman flung her hand up and pointed at the vampire, "This is the third time this month that he's ran off my date! And this one was all because he was a vamp from a different coven!" "It was not!" "Was too!" "Was not!" Before they could continue going back and forth, both mouths were magically shut. "Angels above, I thought you two grew out of this." Magnus closed his eyes, rubbing at his head. 

"Um, Magnus?"

The warlock turned towards Alec, who appeared confused and had his head tilted out so cutely to the side. "Yes, Love?" He couldn't stop the pleased feeling rushing through his body as a blush worked his way up Alec's face. "What's going on? And who is she?" The shorter of the two turned back to the vampire and woman, who appeared to arguing thru looks. "This is my daughter, Lyracana Bane. And it would appear Raphael has gone all overprotective big brother on her again." With a wave of his hand, he removed his magic from the two, completely aware of the bomb he just dropped on the others. Alec stared, unable to do more the open and close his mouth, no sound escaping. Maryse and Jace stared in shock, while Clary was busy texting Izzy and Simon everything they were missing.

"Dad, please, for the love of everything holy and unholy, make Raffy stop messing with my dates. I would like to get laid this decade." Magnus hid a grimaced at that and looked at the vampire, "Raphael, we've been over this before, don't mess with her dates. Remember what happened last time?" Raphael grimaced, remembering the hell he was put through and grumbled an agreement. He crossed his arms, glaring at a wall, and would have denied any claims that he was pouting. Magnus grabbed his daughter's, pulling her over to Alec, grinning, "Muffin, meet my wonderfully scrumptious love, Alexander Lightwood. Darling, meet my daughter, Lyracana Bane." They both watched in amusement as Alec let out a squeak and held his hand out.

"It's nice to meet you Lyracana."

"Call me Lyra. Dad's the only one who calls me that."

She took his hand, grinning and showing off her fangs. Giving him a slow once over, Lyra turned to her father, "He's a big improvement over the last one. Much tastier and better looking too." She cackled at the blush that spread across Alec's face and the elbow nudge she got from her father. Maryse finally seemed to pull herself together and asked, "I didn't know you had a daughter Magnus?" Magnus wasn't given a chance to answer as Lyra took over. 

"Oh, I'm adopted. Dad took me in after my parents were killed by the Clave when I was 8."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's fine. I was a long time ago."

"If I might ask, what did they do to be killed?"

Maryse ignored the hissed "Mom!" from Alec, focused completely on the young woman in front of her. "Oh, they didn't like the fact my mom was a Shadowhunter and my Father was a warlock. Who was married, with a helfbreed child, who inherited both sides." Lyra gave a shit eating grin as the shadowhunters stared in shock as a glamour faded away, revealing the runes one her neck, chest and arms. Maryse was the first to overcome her shock and she linked her arm with Lyra. "Well, I finally have a grandchild to spoil." 

"Mom! She's not my daughter!!"

"Oh please Alexander, if you and Magnus don't end up married within the next year, I'll dance naked in front of the Clave."

"MOTHER!"

Maryse ignored the shout and sputtering come from Alec and Magnus as she lead Lyra away from everyone else, snagging a laughing Clary along the wat. "Let's go get Isabelle and get to know each other. Maybe grab Simon as well, I feel up to a little match making." Lyra grinned, having a feeling she was going to like her dad's future husband's family. Especially after hearing the embarrassed and indignant shout from Raphael after she mention all of the messages she had of his pinning. 


	2. Little Sisters are the Devils

Raphael let out a pleased sigh, shutting his door and leaning against it. A sappy grin spread across his face as he thought about his night. He had had a date (an actual **DATE** ) with Simon and felt that it went fairly well. They had gone to a late night showing of some horror movie that had Simon clinging to him. Not that he had any complaints, obviously, but there was some gentle teasing from him.

_Simon let out a shriek as something popped out on the screen and nearly jumped into Raphael’s lap. As it was, he was clinging onto his arm pretty tightly, no plans of letting go anytime soon. Raphael laughed, “You’re a vampire, you deal with worst things on a nightly base. How does this scare you?” “I can usually hear them coming and I can actually fight them!” Simon gave another shriek from something on screen and tried to move closer._

_The older vampire smiled slightly and pulled his arm out of the trap it was in, mush to the younger one’s complaints. The complaining stopped though, as Raphael wrapped said arm around him and pulled him into his lap. Simon was pretty sure if it were still possible, he’d be ruby red, but that didn’t matter as the killer popped out of a closet and stabbed someone. He jumped and buried his face in the older vampire’s neck, all embarrassment forgotten for them moment. Raphael looked down at him as much as he possibly could, an unbearably fond look on his face._

Simon had stayed in his lap for the rest of the movie and he had been tempted to see another horror movie just so he could experience it again. Shaking his head, Raphael moved further into his room, removing his jacket as he went. Tossing it onto his bed, he didn’t really notice the person sitting in the chair in the corner.

“So, the date went good?”

“ **AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”**

Raphael would never, under pain of life or death, ever willingly admit to the shriek he let out as he jumped and spun around. Sitting there as innocently as possible (ignoring the shit-eating grin) was the bane of his existence. His little sister, Lyra. “Dios mio! What the **hell** are you doing here?!?!” Hand resting over where his heart use to beat, he glared down at her. She completely ignored said glare, asking “Awww, can’t I just check up on my big brother?”

He turned from her, scoffing, “You never just come to check up on me. There’s always something up. Now, what do you want?” Watching as he unbuttoned his shirt sleeves and moving onto the rest of his shirt, she replied, “Just wanted to know how your date with Sherman went.” A narrowed eye glare was sent her way but was ignored. “His name is Simon, as you very well know. And the date went well, very well. At least on my end it did.” He was unable to keep the smile off his face as his sister leant forward. Clasping her hands together, Lyra demanded “Tell me all the deets!”

Raphael gave her a disgusted look before shaking his head. “There isn’t much to tell. We saw a movie, got some blood, and then spent the rest of the night stargazing and talking. I walked him home and said goodnight.” He turned away from her, which was a mistake as he missed the glint that appeared in her eye, as he shrugged his shirt off.

“So, you didn’t pin Seymour to his door and molest him?”

Choking on his spit, the vampire spun back around and starred at her in horror. Smirking, Lyra pulled out her phone, snapping a picture of his face. (Yes, I know. Vampire, no reflection. BUT Magic!)

“How do you **KNOW** about that?!?!?!”

“I know everything. And I think dad would love to hear all about it!”

He stood there, frozen in horror and unable to move, as she dialed Magnus’s number. An evil little grin crossed her face as she stared him down. It didn’t take long for the call to be answered.

“Hey dad.”

A pause.

“No, no, everything’s fine.”

Another pause.

“Just thought you’d like to hear all about Raffy’s date.”

Pause.

“Oh, it went very well. So well in fact, that he got a goodni- **ACK!!!”**

Lyra was unable to finish though, as Raphael tackled her, chair and all to the ground. He reached for the phone, demanding, “Give it here you little twerp!” She struggled and wiggled under him, refusing to give up the phone, shouting, “NEVER!”

<3 M&A <3

Magnus stared down at his phone, listening to the fighting and struggling going on. “Angels, what did I ever do to deserve this?” A pained grunt and loud cackling came through the phone.

“From this century or a different one?”

Gasping in shock, the warlock looked up at his fiancé. “Alexander! How rude!” Said shadowhunter just grinned, replying “What do you expect? they ARE your kids.” Alec laughed at the pout formed at the older man’s face before going back to his book. Magnus finally hung the phone after a pained shout came through and watched the other man. It wasn’t long before a thought came to him and a cheshire cat grin spread across his face. “While that may be true, Love, you have to remember one very important thing.” “Hmm?” Alec answered distractedly, turning a page in his book.

“Once we are married, they’ll be your kids as well.”

A sappy and dopey grin easily spread across Alec’s face, as it always did when someone mentioned him marrying Magnus. But it didn’t take long before it was replaced with a look of horror.

“I’m going to have kids older them me.”

Magnus cackled, not much different from his daughter, at the whispered filled with horror.

A pause.

“No, no, everything’s fine.”

Another pause.

“Just thought you’d like to hear all about Raffy’s date.”

Pause.

“Oh, it went very well. So well in fact, that he got a goodni- **ACK!!!”**

Lyra was unable to finish though, as Raphael tackled her, chair and all to the ground. He reached for the phone, demanding, “Give it here you little twerp!” She struggled and wiggled under him, refusing to give up the phone, shouting, “NEVER!”

<3 M&A <3

Magnus stared down at his phone, listening to the fighting and struggling going on. “Angels, what did I ever do to deserve this?” A pained grunt and loud cackling came through the phone.

“From this century or a different one?”

Gasping in shock, the warlock looked up at his fiancé. “Alexander! How rude!” Said shadowhunter just grinned, replying “What do you expect? they ARE your kids.” Alec laughed at the pout that formed on the older man’s face before going back to his book. Magnus finally hung the phone up after a pained shout came through and watched the other man. It wasn’t long before a thought came to him and a cheshire cat grin spread across his face. “While that may be true, Love, you have to remember one very important thing.” “Hmm?” Alec answered distractedly, turning a page in his book.

“Once we are married, they’ll be your kids as well.”

A sappy and dopey grin easily spread across Alec’s face, as it always did when someone mentioned him marrying Magnus. But it didn’t take long before it was replaced with a look of horror.

“I’m going to have kids older them me.”

Magnus cackled, not much different from his daughter, at the whispered filled with horror.


	3. After Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If anyone was interested, here's Raphael 'molesting' Simon. 
> 
> Hope it turned out okay. Never wrote this kind of stuff before.

With nearly an hour left before sunrise, Raphael had decided to walk Simon back to his home (well if you can call a warehouse home). The younger vampire seemed to be debating with himself for a few moments before apparently gathering his courage and shyly took his hand. Hiding his surprise, Raphael just gave a slight grin, taking a firmer hold of the other’s hand. He knew a blush would have been present if there was any blood still pumping. This was one of the few moments we wished they were both still ‘alive’.

They walked in comfortable silence, hand in hand, until the reached the building. Which didn’t take long enough in his opinion. Simon turned to look at him from underneath his eyelashes, a bashful smile on his face, saying “I had fun.” “As did I. We should do it again.” He lit up like a christmas tree, shining so bright, Raphael thought he’d burn. He thought Simon looked gorgeous like that though. Too caught up in his thoughts, he nearly missed the kiss the younger man shyly placed on his cheek. “I’d like that. I’d like it a lot.”

**CRACK**

That was the sound of his resolve and self control breaking as he shoved Simon into his door and claiming his lips with his own. Dios Mio! His lips were as soft as he thought they would be! Simon let out a surprised gasp, frozen in shock at first. It didn’t take him long to start responding though, wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck. He gave as good as he could, even though he didn’t have much experience. Raphael pressed his body up against the other vampire’s body, hands and arms pressed against the door. He swiped his tongue across the bottom lip and was granted access via a gasp, eagerly mapping out the other’s mouth. Tasted better then he thought, but what about the rest of him?

Pulling away from that sinful mouth was torture, and when Simon whined at the lost, he nearly went back in. But he was on a mission and he wouldn’t be stopped. Raphael slowing worked his way down Simon’s jaw to his throat, savoring the taste as he went. He found where the pulse point use to be and latched on, sucking for all he was worth and dragging a moan from the younger one. He worked a nice little hickey into the skin that he knew would stay a few hours after he left before making his way back up. Simon withered against him, eagerly returning his kiss.

He doesn’t remember how long they stayed that way, alternating between his lips and neck, before he was able to finally pull himself away. But he does know it was one of the hardest (heh, hardest(sorry, I’m immature)) things he ever had to do. His resolve nearly broke when he saw the mess Simon was. Simon’s hair and clothes were disheveled, lips swollen, eyes dilated and marks littering his long pale neck. “Dios, you look sinful, Corazón.” Simon gave a whine when he tried to go in for another kiss, but was stopped.

“Sorry, Cariño, but it’s almost sunrise. I need to get back to the hotel.” Raphael thought he was strong enough to handle anything, but the puppy eyes sent his way nearly did him in. “You could always come in and stay here.” Simon sounded so hopeful, it crushed his dead heart to turn him down. “As much as I would love that, I think it would be best to go home.” A sad frown. “Oh. Ok. No, yeah it’s fine. Nothing wrong with that. I’ll just g-“ a finger was placed on his lips, shushing him. Raphael leaned forward, placing his lips directing against his ear, whispering “I want our first time to be special and somewhere with a proper bed Cariño.” His breath and lips caused a shiver to run down the younger vampire’s back.

He looked back at him as he pulled away, brown eyes wide and glazed over. “O-oh, y-yeah, that would be, um, yeah. Great. Sounds great.” Leaning down for one last kiss, Raphael lingered for a few moments, trying to gather his willpower. “I’ll see you later Corazón mío.” A bashful smile and a whispered “bye” and he left for the hotel. Simon stood there for a few minutes longer, fingers touching his lips in wonder. He finally managed to make himself go inside, a bright smile on his lips. A ping alerted him to a text message.

'I already can't wait to see you again. Have pleasant dreams, Cariño.'

His dead heart tried its hardest to jump. 'You too <3' 

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thank god. Hope yall enjoyed it!!!!


End file.
